Final Year Student

Omg, I haven't update this blog in 2 years! A lot had happened for the past 2 years and honestly I'm not really ready to be graduating!!

I honestly can't believe it's my final year as a film student and I'll be finishing my studies in June 2019! Things have been happening so fast and I'm now preparing my final year project, which is a short film! Can you believe it! I'm writing and directing the short film at the same time, and I would say I'm a little nervous that I cannot handle everything. 

I'm really lacking in funding and I really hope some of you could lend a helping hand and help a sis in her final year project HAHAHAHA. This short film is very important to me as it engages myself to the society and the real industry outside, which honestly it's very scary for me. But dreams are there for us to stand up and move forward right? We can't be hiding and be a baby, expecting to grow up and be successful. We ourselves need to step up and be independent and strong for ourselves.

Thus, I started a funding page, hoping that everyone could donate a little in aiding me as a newbie and a new director into the society, allowing this short film to create more job opportunities in the future. 

https://gogetfunding.com/final-year-project-short-film/

Your help is greatly appreciated and honestly you can message me to know more about it!

Love, 

Leanne

Update : My College Life

After 3 months, I'm back with a new post!! College has been amazing for me throughout my 5 months studying there. I'm on a week on semester break now before I start semester 2 which makes me super excited because I could finally learn some film stuff!! I mean, besides all the drawing in semester 1, I loved the whole semester. It was really fun learning how to use softwares such as Adobe Illustrator and Adobe Photoshop. I never knew I could actually create a digital artwork as I was never those type of people who enjoys art. I improved a lot in drawing ( thankfully) and I saw myself progressing well in other subjects. 

I love how I am feeling right now. I think positive more than I ever did last time and I feel really proud of myself. It's some sort of self confidence that I managed to gain after enrolling into college. Instead of feeling down and insecure all the time, I chose to ignore all my negative thoughts with the positive ones. I love being positive. I love laughing. I love everything that I'm doing right now. I hope I could stay this happy for the time being. 

I really love my life right now. 

- Leanne-

My great passion

I've always love music. I've always been telling myself that I have a talent for music. Thus, I've been working hard for the past 10 years in practising my piano just so I thought I would be good in it. I did it honestly, having a distinction for my advance certificate, I thought that I would pass my ATCL with a distinction too. I was tremendously stressed out, scared and tired. Things weren't working well. I partially gave up, even at the moment of my exam. After getting my results and knowing that I failed, my heart broke a million pieces. I thought to myself "should i retake the exam?" At last, I didn't. After so long, I decided to call it an end. I once loved piano, and honestly I still do, but after a failure where things weren't getting better, I was and am heartbroken. My passion and love for music slowly fades. My fingers start to get stiff and I can no longer play the pieces the same way again. Once a passion,once a great love got thinner and thinner and slowly it disappeared. I still love music, I still do. I want to compose,produce and play great pieces from great composers,but I'm scared because I can't produce things like how I used to. I'm trying to find ways to cope with how I was. Things changed and it wasn't for a good cost. I am deeply sad with it. All I can do now is to find my great passion, feel music like how I used to. Play with emotions, love and obviously, my passion for it. Something that is faded can be repainted again. 

Love, 

Leanne 

I'm back!!

Hey it's Leanne! After 3 years, I'm finally posting again. Well,the last two years had been a hard one for me. 2015 was my most stressful year ever. I had anxieties and panic attacks that occurred just because of me getting scared that I couldn't cope with my studies.Well, 2016 wasn't a good year either. At many times I had to choose between music and my studies. I was preparing for my ATCL exams, at the same time for my SPM (final year exam) I was constantly stressed and confused at the same time. And at last, I failed my ATCL and got bad grades for my SPM trials. Now, it's 2017. I'm glad that I finally graduated high school, but I'm still waiting for my SPM results in March. I'm in college now but I am still in the preparatory class that they are having now. It's fun but I'm really excited to start my course. Oh, by the way, my course is Diploma in Film and TV production. Many people think that it is odd to study this course because it is not really famous in my country. Honestly, I've been wanting to study in this field since I was young. I was really curious with the production and I've always wanted to be a part of it. I'm seriously excited about it. I'm glad that part of my wish came true and I wish to go further. I know that my future would be tiring, stressful and odd, but forget about that because I believe, one day I would succeed and I would be able to prove all those people that my odd choice that time was my best choice. 

Good luck to everyone, stay safe, x
Leanne

Awkward

I hate awkwardness. It's because when you say something and do something, people may think the other way and you'll be disappointed. I hate that disappointment. That is why I lose self confidence. I'm afraid of the awkwardness that lies between it. The way people stare and talk, just annoys me, although I told myself to ignore it. I just can't,  sometimes you're just afraid to show yourself because people judges a lot.

If you're reading, and you have the same feeling. Don't be like me. You won't have awkwardness and I'm trying to change my thinking of awkwardness.  You're beautiful no matter what. Stay strong. X

                         Love,
                     Leanne

Honestly

Honestly, I'm not really good in studies. I just can't get the results I want, always. Like this time, I worked quite hard for the papers, but out of 8 subjects, I only got 1A. Honestly, this new system that they introduced to us is useless. We didn't even get to learn like how the seniors do and we had more stress than them. Although I got that bad, I managed to get 5 place in class and 107 in form. Like how? It was really bad and I'm surprised. These exams made me terrified, but at the same time, it makes me procrastinate. Oh well.                                                                  Love ya,                                                                                        Leanne 

Hello

Hi, it's me Leanne. So I've been wanting to post some blog posts for a very long time but they always don't seem that good. Zoella gave me that motivation of starting up my own blog. Maybe this is a good way to introduce myself. 

I'm not a good writer honestly. I just love sharing some experience online without talking. Talking is actually my favorite thing yet is the thing that I fear the most. I love laughing and talking, but when it comes to talking to strangers face to face it makes me scared and want to run away. My self confidence went lower when I was 13. I don't know why, I just can't talk in front of a bunch of people that well anymore. 

I am person who loves videos a lot. Youtube is my favorite app since I was at the age of 8, I'm 15 now by the way. They just seem to give me happiness by just watching some random videos. I would want this to be my career in the future. 

I fear a lot yet I don't care about the problems. I don't them to distract me from having a happy life. If you're reading this, thank you so much. It means a lot to me. 

                                                 Love ya,

                              

                                                                   Leanne